Saturday, September 20, 2008

Only in the South

I have to make salad for 15 people to serve at a church luncheon tomorrow. Never having made salad for 15, I called my mother for her advice. Now let me stop here and ask you to picture--visualize--a salad. Lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, maybe cucumber and croutons, right? Yeah, me too. My mom--and I love her for it--suggested I make a "congealed fruit salad." Yep--Jello with fruit! Only in the South would anyone call that delicious, sweet treat a salad. It's not just my mom--I think it's all Southern moms--in their minds, anything made with Jello is a salad. You gotta love it! : )

Monday, September 15, 2008

Choco-nutty

As some of you readers may know, I am diabetic. Not that I am always that good about following the diabetic diet, but lately I've been trying. Primarily because my doctor fussed at me, but that's another story. So, as you know, sweets aren't really allowed. Which puts a huge crimp in my major need for the vitally important chocolate food group. I'd been craving chocolate--and sweets--something fierce the last few weeks, but I've been good and haven't had any. I still haven't, but my choco-nutty needs have been satisfied!! I have found a great new snack that I just had to share with my faithful readers--you know, in case you want some--'cause I'm not sharing my stash! It's this new flavor by Emerald Nuts (http://www.emeraldnuts.com/) called Cocoa Roast Almonds. Let me just tell ya--these are AWESOME. It's almonds--which are healthy (they lower cholesterol) and delicious--that are roasted in dark chocolate. It's not a sticky candy coating, either. It's like a cocoa powder kind of thing. They are so good--try them. There's no sugar and they're good for you AND they're chocolatey!! I'm choco-nutty in love!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Trash Fairies

For five wonderful years we had trash fairies. I'm not kidding. Every week, we'd put out our trash, and every week it would disappear in the night. At first Jer and I thought the other one of us was paying someone to remove our trash. But we soon realized that neither of us were paying for nocturnal trash removal and neither of us ever saw our trash fairies.

The trash fairies came at a time when we most needed them. In the beginning, Jer was in school full time and I was making my piddly government wage to support us both. Then Jer was working in a piddly job of his own while I stayed home with Lydia. The trash fairies were wonderful. They never made a peep. They just efficiently removed our trash each week. We were blessed.

After Evelyn came along, Jer was finished his graduate degree and moved into better paying positions. I guess the trash fairies knew and moved along--hopefully to someone else in need of a trash fairy. I miss my trash fairies--I like my new paid trash men well enough--but the trash fairies were a wonderful mystique that I enjoyed for so long. Wherever you are trash fairies--thanks--and we miss you!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Missing Craft Gene

I am evidently missing the craft gene. That can be the only explanation. Because I have absolutely no desire, skill, or interest in most crafts. As it turns out, this causes me great difficulty in parenting. Because I have no idea how to do all of the little crafty things all of these other mothers I know do with their kids. I'm totally clueless.

I have a feeling this missing craft gene is going to cause my children much embarrassment as they progress in their scholastic careers. Because all of the other mothers out there use their craft genes to maximum effectiveness. While I stand there rather like Goofy going, "Duh-huh?"

I actually thought I could fake it somehow, but last year during my daughter's "Special Day" (don't even get me started on that corny nonsense) celebrations at her school--followed by the Valentine's Day debacle--I knew there was no hiding it. I actually followed the directions the school sent for each of these activities. For the Special Day, I came and read Lydia's favorite book to the class and gave out some stickers. Unfortunately, we went first. For the weeks following (they only did one kid per day of class--thus the specialness) all of the crafty mothers shone like the rhinestones they had glued to elaborate posters attributing their child's specialness.

To make matters worse, when Valentine's Day rolled around, again, I did as instructed. I brought in 12 plain Valentines for my daughter to give out. Yes, they were these cheap, ugly Batman cards because that's all I could find the night before Valentine's Day at the Kroger, but still--these are little kids, who cares? Well, it's the mothers who care! The crafty moms struck again with homemade cookies with each child's name in icing across the top, or the treat bags with the candy, or the treat bags with the little toys, stickers, and pencils. Or the homemade cut-out hearts on construction paper with glittering glitter. If it's like this in nursery school, what are the next dozen or do years going to be like?

In all seriousness...I'm just a little jealous...as I said, I'm missing the crafty gene. But can't you crafty moms out there give me break--maybe warn me or clue me into these crafty occasions so I'm not caught off guard?

That said...nursery school starts back up in a week or so...wish me luck (and do some crafts for me!)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Evidence Is Against Me!

OK, so maybe I'm not that hapless and helpless. I can cook. A little. When I feel like it. : )

Check it out: http://www.penzeysone.com/cgi-bin/one/Richmond2.html

p.s. Penzey's Spices are awesome--try them out!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Harried Haplessness

Hello, dear readers... I've been a victim of my own haplessness. I'm in the midst of potty training my 3-year-old, and, well, let me tell you, that's just not a fun job. Especially for someone who isn't fond of cleaning. I've been up to my ears in laundry (all those little girl fundies to wash) and I've been mopping up floors like mad (eegad!!) To top it off, I've also been running around with Resolve (heh...funny pun...) to keep the carpets clean. I just hope our house doesn't start smelling like an old folks' home (sorry old folks, but you know...) So that's what I've been busy with...wish me luck!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Sewing Nightmares

My youngest daughter loves her blankie. It's a nice flannel blanket my mother made for her with a nice satin trim. Trouble is, Little Bit likes to take it everywhere and I'd rather she kept it nice and clean in her bed. So, I had this brilliant idea of making her a second, very similar blankie to carry on her adventures around the house and in the car. I thought it couldn't be that hard--it was a big square of flannel fabric with satin ribbon stuff sewn around the edge.

Off we went to our local Walmart for the supplies. I found a cute flannel print very similar to the favored blankie and the same colored satin edging and thread. Great! This was going to be so easy, I thought.

I got the supplies home and after I got the girls down for their naps, I got started. First, I had to dig out the sewing machine. It's this cheap number my husband picked up a few years ago that neither of us ever used (bought in a moment of nuttiness when we thought we'd sew our own curtains...) My first challenge was figuring out what to do with the thread. We'd lost the instructions, but thanks to the internet, I had them on my laptop...I was going back and forth between my laptop monitor and the sewing machine trying to figure it out. There was this bobbin thing to get thread around and load AND there was the main thread thingy to load. Not to mention threading the needle.

I finally got it all figured out and was ready to go. I cut the flannel and pinned the satin edging around it. I was ready to sew. I started slowly then realized the pedal thing was like a gas pedal--the harder I pushed, the faster I could sew. Wow!! With as fast as this thing's going, I can sew all sorts of things. So, I sewed along. Zip! Up the first side I went until I felt this tugging. I looked down and saw that I had somehow grabbed the bottom of my shirt and had sewed it to the blankie. Arghh!!

No worries, I thought...so I cut the thread, released my shirt, and began again--careful not to snag my shirt again (it probably would have been better if I'd used a table or counter and not a TV tray scooted up next to my recliner, but that hadn't occurred to me.) I went along like lightning! While pushing the fabric through I was imaging all of the wonderful things I could sew.

That was until I was done and looked at what I had sewn. My stitches (is that what you call them?) looked like a crazy, erratic heart monitor readout of a person having a series of heart attacks. Not at all like a steady, even stitch that should have been there. Then I realized that I hadn't exactly cut an even square nor had I conquered the corners with the edging correctly. And my blankie had a tail. Yes, a tail. But by this time the girls were up and I had to get them. So, I went ahead and gave Little Bit her blankie.

She wasn't fooled. She knew it wasn't the real blankie, but it'll do in a pinch. Everyone who has seen this pitiful example of my Hapless Homemaker talents laughs. But, Little Bit likes it OK...she even seems to like the "tail"--she uses it to drag it around the house. Still, I find her sneaking up to her room and stealing a few moments with her real blankie. I guess there's no separating a girl from her true love.