Birthday Party MADNESS!!!!

Sounds scary, doesn't it...birthday party madness!! I never thought I'd witness such phenomena in person. Crazy, extravagant birthday parties are something rich people do. I was wrong. A few weeks ago, right before Evelyn's third birthday, I witnessed birthday party madness!!

It was our neighbor's son's third birthday: a warm, beautiful spring Saturday and a great day for a party. We hadn't been invited to anything, but I assumed he was having a small party with a few of his same-aged boy friends. Was I ever wrong. By early afternoon their front lawn had become quite a spectacle. Hired staff had erected a small circus tent and a clown was busy inflating balloons. Two large tables had been set out with a magnificent arrangement of foods and beverages with a giant birthday cake as the centerpiece. Next came the moon bounce (a giant inflated castle with room for 10-20 kids to bounce around in.) Finally, the main attraction arrived: a travelling petting zoo, complete with two ponies, 3 or 4 lambs, and an assortment of ducks, chicks, bunnies, and other standard petting zoo critters.

I was stunned. Yeah, it was pretty cool, but I could not imagine shelling out that kind of expense and putting on that kind of show for a three-year-old's birthday! It's not like he'll remember it--who remembers their third birthday? Shoot, I don't remember my thirtieth birthday let alone my third. But, I thought, to each their own...

That was until Lydia and Evelyn, who had been having quiet time and napping, caught sight of the spectacle. They just had to run over and see everything. And they certainly didn't understand why they couldn't (because they weren't invited.) They were sobbing over not being able to ride ponies or pet one of the animals (they could see everything that was going on--it was quite close.) I eventually had to pack all three kids in the van and go for a drive.

When we finally returned several hours later and I got the kids nestled in their beds, I had a time to ponder the whole thing. I really just could not fathom spending that kind of money on a kid's birthday party. It occurred to me that perhaps the party wasn't really even for the three-year-old. The kid loved it, I'm sure. But a week later, Evelyn thought her small party with some friends consisting of a hot dog lunch, cake, and a cheap pinata was big time, awesome fun. So was the fancy party really for him? Or was it some sort of competitive parenting thing? Were the parents trying to impress their friends? Impress other neighbors?

This, in turn, got me to thinking about all of the things we do as parents: do we do things for ourselves or for our children. I've been thinking about that since then. Is what I'm doing genuinely for my child or is it for me? It's put an interesting perspective on things for me. There are a few things I will make my kids do for me (piano lessons come to mind, but I think they'll thank me for that when they're older) but I want to genuinely try to do things for my children's benefit and not my own ego boost. I want my kids to have plenty of free and fun time...time to contemplate their belly buttons and the universe or whatever goes through their minds. Other than preschool and Sunday School, my kids just have free time right now. I had been feeling bad about not having them involved in various activities (dance, soccer, swim, language, etc.)--not because I thought my kids were lacking, but because I knew other kids were doing these things and I wondered if my kids should be, too.

But, no, right now I don't think they need their days filled with activity. I like that my kids have the freedom to (within reason) be spontaneous and do whatever they want. I love that following heavy rains this past week, my kids had a blast splashing in puddles, making mud pies, and playing with worms. And while I wasn't I thrilled with Evelyn bringing worms into the house to keep as pets (they're back outside now) or too fond of the super-muddy clothes, I realized that clothes can be cleaned and these things, these fun, spontaneous moments, are what they'll likely remember when they're older. Their days will be filled sooner than I know. For now, my kids can just have fun being themselves.